Family Matters

Since my trip to Bend, I have been wanting to post about something that I experienced while being there. I was in Bend to visit an old college roommate of mine, who is now married and living near her family. She is part of an extended family of farmers and her immediate family are involved in a variety of other business ventures within Central Oregon. However the thing that I was so amazed by is just how wonderfully her family functions.

Each of the four siblings are extremely different personalities, with different politics, interests, spouses, etc. However any time I have seen them together, it's as if all differences are thrown out the window. On this trip I happened to be invited to Sunday breakfast which included five kids under 3 years of age, three of the siblings and their spouses, breakfast being made, the two parents, and the final wrap up from a wedding party that had been thrown on the property the night before. However in the midst of all this "could be" madness, none was evident. The kids were taken care of and passed around, extra pancakes (for ahem, me the vegan the guest who they didn't want to ask to eat cow heart of all things....) were made, the table was set, the wedding guests were taken care of, another friend came and went, and through it all conversation was shared, expectations remained the same, and food was eaten.

No one stepped on anyone else's toes in regards to expecations of or disciplining of the kids. All the kids were treated the same regardless to which parent they belonged to although usual "kid behavior" was encouraged and allowed. Individual needs were easily cross-talked and taken care of. Their family vacation was finalized, the business schedule gone over, and any other loose ends tied up. It was seamless and incredible, and it made me realize how nice it is when families really do let the entire family take care of each other and how routine enables tranquility in the midst of would-be bombardment.

I know it's been gone over again and again, the idea that it takes a village to raise a child.....however I would take it further....it's takes a village...to well raise a functioning village...just some food for thought...

Quick Update

I never meant to make this blog quite so personal, but I continue to feel the need to explain why I'm lacking in my "deep thought" driven postings! I'm spending this week with my grandmother again and on Monday will begin my new grad program. Since I drove up here I decided to save gas and money by just staying until I have to go back down the coast next weekend for a family affair.

I finally have a housing situation set up, thanks to the friend of a friend who manages an apartment building in the city. Just reinforces the thought that life really is about connections and that it's important to be kind to everyone who you meet. The building is vintage and the studio has hardwoods, built-ins, leaded glass, and moldings. I am looking forward to a) painting, b) moving in my belongings next week, and c) winterizing my windows. Since the windows are old and I'm in a corner unit, I'm going to try to put up plastic on at least two of them.

The place should be just big enough to nicely hold the stuff that I do have, so I'm thankful to find a place that like Goldilocks said should be "just right." And it's just reminded me again of the need to create a haven for myself-a place to study, a place to rest my head. The location is ideal-two blocks away from public transporation to get to school and anywhere else I should need to go in the city. Organic grocery stores are in the area, I can walk to my bank, and the minor league baseball park is just blocks away as well!

There are mixed feelings about starting school, however I was enthused to open my environmental health textbook and discover that its topics are right up the alley of what I hope this program will teach me. Thus everything is slowly falling into place....patience truly is a virtue.

However I'm looking forward to being settled and being able to again post as I would like, sharing what I am learning in the public health program, green living ideas, social justice thoughts, and spiritual inspirations! I hope that each and everyone of you has a most wonderful weekend! Enjoy!

Weltschmerz

So while in the valley I ran out of books to read, and while I usually do not engage in reading "fluffy" books, I couldn't help myself and bought (used of course) Sushi for Beginners. It took a long while to get into it but it did turn out to be a half way decent novel (and it was great for while I was subbing this week and needed to be observing my students also). Toward the end of the book, one of the primary characters is diagnosed with depression and a discussion of the German word "weltschmerz" is offered, which translates to world pain or world sadness. The depressed character feels enormous grief for the state of the world and her inability to fix things for everyone. Having felt this myself, though in shorter bouts of time, I felt I could relate to the character in the story.

Last night I had a similar discussion with someone who I am just getting to know more indepthly, and I almost felt guilty to describe myself as someone who cares more than the average person....about other people, about the state of global affairs, about the environment. When I graduated from high school, one of my male best friends and I were selected as the "Most Caring" by our graduating class. I never knew if that was a compliment or if our graduating class instead felt that we cared TOO much. (And there I go caring about it! :-o)

However sometimes I do not understand how other people do not care at all or how they consistently turn a blind eye to the distress of the world around them. I am in agreement that it is difficult to effectly create change if you are always focusing on the negative, but I also feel you must SEE the negative to have a positive toward which you should be moving. I sometimes wish that for seconds or minutes, all members of our world would have their rose colored glasses removed and really feel "weltschmerz" to become aware of the state of affairs of our world as they truly are. We are the lucky ones as we have the option to put the glasses back on and block out the pain, but in the back of my mind I don't forget the ones who are daily living the realities of weltschmerz.

The last few weeks have brought me several more examples of the struggles of others. During my housing search, I couldn't help but think how much more difficult the searching process would be if I didn't have family to stay with, a decent education, saved finances, and even just access to the internet itself. My heart went out to those without resources and without homes. This week while teaching in the special education classroom at the high school, we also had a 16 year old student who bolted from class one day and then admitted to staff that he was family-less, had not eaten for two whole days, and was living on the streets. Yet, somehow he still managed to come to school. Hearing the stories of other students who live 4 to a camp trailor, whose parents are chronically ill and these students are their primary caregivers, who have been abused and mistreated in ways one does not like to describe nor think about. Going back and visiting the classroom from this summer and seeing the sadness and confusion mixed in with the joy on their faces. What it meant to them to have someone keep her word about visitation and caring.

Oh what a sad world we do live in, yet amongst the sadness we CAN do small and large things to brighten it up a bit. We can't always fix everything (some things I truly believe are "unfixable", severe mental illness being an example), but we all can do things to make our world a better, purer, happier place not just for us, but for those that need it even more. So I must ask....just what WILL YOU do?

Home Sweet Home

I'm finally back on the coast for a week. Still no luck on the housing front and I'm starting to get really worried. (The apartment rentals in Portland are very competitive at the moment which have been rumored to be due to the fact that the housing market is so expensive and there are so many foreclosure issues across the nation. I also would attribute it to the fact that the New York Times included Portland as one of the cities across the nation that is consistently attracting Gen Y members due to its safe, clean, and green environment. So my natural thought is that with more people that makes less housing. Sigh, what's a gal to do but keep her fingers crossed, her prayers strong, the viewing of craigslist continual, and to listen to the positive support from so many of her friends and family.) Which gets me to the....I'm SO glad to be home.

I didn't intend to be gone this long and feel so grateful for the continued hospitality by many of my family members. My granny had me as an almost continual housemate for about two weeks, my cousin hosted me for a night and extended an offer for more if I can't acquire housing before I start my graduate program, and another friend offered to put me up for a few days to be closer to the hunting action. The support that I have received from two of my closest friends and various family members has been wonderful though and has continued to allow me to feel very blessed amongst all the uncertainty of this time.

However there's something about walking back into your own home and being greeted by familiar surroundings and smells. Being able to finally read the mail and pay the cell phone bill. Showering with my own shampoo and soap-I hadn't realized just how much I had missed that! Crawling into my own bed in the dark cave I have created in my bedroom. Catching up on missed blog postings. Talking if I feel like it and not having to if I don't feel like it. Discovering that for the first time ever my tomatoes have made it to ripening! Organizing my papers and my thoughts. The simpleness of being at home. I hope that I can recreate this wherever and whenever I am able to find a resting place next...

I have been blessed also in that I have work for this week. They called me last week and then again today to come in to sub for at least half if not all of this week, and it made me realize that I have missed the kids and the flexibility of that position. However it makes me anxious in realizing that I will be left with exactly one week until the start of my term to find a place to live, however all things are provided in time......I just have to continue to remind myself of that. I hope that everyone has continued to receive wonderful moments in the weeks that I have been otherwise engaged! I will relish this time at home and then continue my search again!!

Moments of Creation

So I'm still here in the valley looking for housing, when all I really want to do is go back home for a few days. However what's the point in driving all the way there just to have to come back to do the same thing. Needless to say I'm praying up a storm that God will help one of the housing options I've possibly found come to fruition. However I have been so thankful too for the last few days. I know that God always keeps one in the holding pattern when we need to learn something, and one thing I particularly always need to re-learn is that of patience and continued trust and faith.

Yesterday my granny and I walked around the property of the assisted living place where she lives and looked at the local wildlife. Her apartment is on a "lake" (I call it a large pond) and so there are tons of ducks, squirrels, geese, fish, etc always around. Yesterday we even spotted a blue heron, and were able to get some good pictures of the swans. On our drive to my brother's for a Labor Day BBQ, we both were so mesmerized by the varying shades of blue in the sky, the slight turning of the leaves on the trees heading from brilliant green to yellow and orange, the dark green of the grape vines, and the dried grass across the fields. September is upon us and we can just begin to feel the encroaching fall.

All of which reminding me of how much I love this season, and of how important it is to take the time to be mesmerized by nature. Appreciating nature increases our desire to protect it, and our ability to make changes in our individual lives in order to do so. It's always interesting to me how God put us in charge as stewards of His Earth, yet so many Christians (and others of faith) fail to do many of the things He asked of us. We turn a blind eye on a daily basis to one of the greatest gifts He gave us.

The sermon in my home church here on Sunday was entitled "Entertaining Angels Unawares" and the visiting pastor gave several examples of how Christians should represent God's love and how we do interact on a daily basis with angels. In my mind, every person, every creature, every aspect of creation can be seen as an angel, and yet how frequently do we reach out to protect, nurture, love all of it and the entirety of life that it holds....How often do we have the chance to "entertain angels" yet fail to do so?

The following is part of the Affirmation of Faith said on Sunday:

"Their daily action in the world is the church in mission to the world. The quality of their relation with other persons is the measure of the church's fidelity. Each member is the church in the world."

How true this is, and how often that we need reminding.....I hope that everyday I can remember to thank God for the beauty and supremacy of His creation, and that I can make a positive impact upon His gift.

Contradictory Terms

So I think I'm beginning to wonder, just how should I define simplicity? As I gear up toward moving back to the valley and to the city of Portland, I am again having to examine what I desire out of the upcoming experience. I am excited for what lies ahead but have mixed emotions on the return to the city, and I feel that some of my ideals are beginning to contradict each other. And so the questions begin in my mind......should I pay more for housing to live in the city so I don't have to deal with traffic? (In so doing I lose out on frugality and increase financial stress, but I gain in less transportation stress and less pollution production). Options are available in multiple forms, however sometimes I have to wonder if so many options helps or in fact hinders.

I've spent my week in the valley here primarily surrounded by others and thus was glad when today I had the opportunity to spend the day to myself. It has been great to visit with old friends, help out family members, and have help given to me in terms of the housing search, but it also renewed in me the knowledge that over the last six-ten months I've been choosing to live a very sheltered life. So now comes the task of trying to create a new shelter amongst the storm of the city, although I must admit that the culture and mentality of Portland correlates almost perfectly to my current values and philosophy.

I am currently sitting on the porch of one of my favorite restaurants where I can get "free" wi-fi (how is it free truly if I must pay for something?) and continuing my housing search, while also finally getting the chance this week to read up on blogs and other news. I keep getting distracted by the little things though. The squirrel with the cute bushy tail hunting out the area full of bushes. The beautiful blooms on the hanging baskets. The caw of the crow over head blocking out the noise of traffic. The laughter resonating from a near-by table as people bond over food, beer, and conversation. The calm settling on my soul as I recognize that no matter how much I try to worry or figure things out, someone (or thing...) larger than me is going to provide. Oh good times.....in the midst of uncertainity so much is certain and so much is natural about the state of contradiction.....it can after all be a good place to be.....