Vacation Week

So just in case you've been wondering...I'm on vacation this week making the rounds. I had my last week at my summer job last week and then left for Central Oregon the next day. I was so glad to be able to visit an old college roommate and her husband. We had some good moments together, including a beautiful hike. More on that trip to come....

I currently am in the valley this week helping my siblings paint their houses and looking for fall housing, while also visiting other friends and family. The neat thing about the painting is that they are both using recycled paint for their primer coat. I had never heard of that before but there are locations that take left over used paint and then mix it all together for people to use. Generally it makes tan, gray, or white; however my sister was told that in Portland there are 10-15 colors available to choose from. What a great concept! So although they are both using shades of blue, they were able to use the recycled paint as a base coat then.

It's always great to spend quality time with those I don't get to see as often, and I am reminded of how fortunate I am to have my family and friends in my life.

Reality Check-In

First thing every morning at work we have a check-in with the kids. This includes all of us sitting in a circle and sharing about how each of us is feeling every day. The kids don't always have a full answer and as staff, we try to limit yet model our answers. So here is my non-sugar coated answer: I am stressed.......

Stress is sort of an over-whelming emotion for me to feel as the majority of my life since embracing this life of simplicity has been relatively stress free. I've had my moments but nothing in comparison to the moments that I used to live. So one might ask...why am I currently stressed?

Well my job is fairly intense...from 8am until whenever I get to go home I am processing, processing, processing, which leaves me most unwilling to process about my personal needs and life upon dismissal from my job. Since I have been working longer days-that means that at times I am going non-stop for 8 to 9 hours meeting the needs of others. That would wear anyone out. But a strange realization happened today as I got to come home after only 6 hours...that is that I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I had become so used to over-working myself again and then spending the weekends catching up on my needs and the evenings being so exhausted that I just crashed, that I almost forgot how to relish and enjoy the simple moments. Thus I have spent this afternoon just thinking...really....for myself.

However that thinking led me to ponder all the things that I have been putting off doing until the completion of this summer job. And as I am just in the beginning stages now of a life transition (that of moving back north to start my newest grad program), I am feeling anxiety of how to bring my simple life into alignment with that of my life of a student and that of the life that others have known me by in the past. Hence my thoughts and my emotions are flying....(which ironically is how I described myself w/o all these additional details at check-in this morning...)

I feel saddened by leaving my job: the kids and the staff. I feel saddened by leaving behind the absolute comfort and contentness I feel toward being here how I am in this place and in this time. I feel nervous about starting a new program, about being again in the stress and rush of the city, however I too am excited about the knowledge and opportunities that will be gained through my courses. I am apprehensive about remaining simple and relaxed amongst commotion and the current uncertainities that I am facing.....

But this afternoon, I HAVE slowed down by doing those little things that I enjoy. I've created plans for wrapping up my last days at work, I scrubbed the bathroom sink and kitchen counters (when my surroundings are more ordered I can't help but feel the same), I made spaghetti sauce completely from scratch, I relished my glass of wine, I engaged in conversation with my father, and to compensate for any "greenness" I have slacked on as of late-I took a super short shower. :-) I know that the simple life is what I want, so now it's just remembering to give the control away from myself and embracing the blessings of what I have while looking forward to those that lay ahead....

Oregon Rain

While a bit strange, I have to admit that of all the reasons why I love Oregon, the fact that it rains so much is actually up there at the top of the list. While the Oregon coast and valley may not be the best place for people that have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), the rain actually tends to make me happy. The rain brings a sense of renewal and freshness that can get dulled by numerous sunny days in a row. And as most Oregonians can attest to, we tend to grow accostumed to the rain to such a degree, that we can still continue to do regular activities that most people would stop doing with the onslaught of a few drops. However rainy weather also lends perfectly to plenty of memorable indoor moments. And while polar fleece may not be the most fashionable, we tend to wear it as an additional water proof coating, as umbrellas are rarely seen among native Oregonians. Rain is just our way of life.

So imagine my good fortune when last evening upon crawling into bed, I heard the initial rain drops land upon the roof. The gentle drops were an instant lullaby that lulled me into sleep. The drizzle has continued throughout today which has lended perfectly to an afternoon to finish the novel I started on Friday (Jane Eyre) with a cup of tea and my big fuzzy slippers. The few drops that landed on my clothing this morning while walking into and out of church dried quickly, but it felt great to turn my face to the rain and feel the mist upon my skin and the smell refresh my mind.

We've had an unusual summer weather pattern on the coast this year (as many regions of the world could also claim the same), so we have not had as much drizzly rain or high winds throughout this summer. It's been nice to have an actual summer here, but just lately I had begun to recognize slight changes that mean that fall is encroaching upon the last days of summer. And now the rain is a remembrance of the renewal of the changing of the seasons. While September tends to be beautiful in Oreogn, I have to wonder if it will have its usual pattern this year. Fall in the valley is one of my favorite times of year however, and so I feel most fortunate to be going back to experience its change firsthand.

So bring on the rain, its renewal, its cleansing, its greening, its comfort......rain will always be home to me.

Giving Life

"Together, we can save a life." We've probably all heard the newest motto of the American Red Cross, but how many of us have really taken the time to think about what it means. One of the simplest means of giving to another is that of giving blood for donation. In information taken from the Red Cross, it is reported that every day in the United States, 38,000 blood donations are needed and that frequently the blood supply is 2 days away from running out. This is especially true of the summer months, when blood donations drop. And only 30% of blood donors, donate more than once in their lives. These donors are the ones who keep the blood supply going.

I know that many people have had difficulty or negative experiences at one point with giving blood. The numerous regulations on blood donations also deter some individuals from giving blood. I myself have been frustrated at times due to their different regulations, but it is these very regulations that allow individuals to trust that the blood they are receiving from donors is clean and healthy and that donors themselves remain healthy. On my last donation attempt, I also described in a posting about how the phlebotomist lost pressure on my bag and the blood then was not usable. That experience definitely left me feeling frustrated, however when I think outside of myself I realize that a non-painful accident in giving is nothing compared to the need that there is for continued donations.

If I continue to give, I continue to allow for the life of others. Blood donations are used for treating "accident and burn victims, for treatment of cancer patients, for children with blood disorders, for individuals with sickle cell disease," for surgical procedures, for people with hemophilia, and the list continues. Currently only 5% of the eligible blood donor population in the United States gives blood-yet what a simple way to drastically save and impact the life of another. A blood donor can give again every 56 days, and donation generally takes about an hour. Who knows when one day you may rely upon the donation of another, so please take the time to think about and look into this absolutely simple way to give to another.

TGIR!

TGIR=Thank God I Ran!

Over the last two to three weeks I have been working longer periods of the day. Since we have a set dinner time (which is of course, wonderful to eat together!) and I unfortunately do not digest food fast enough to be able to work out after eating, I have not been able to really run or swim over the last couple of weeks. How absolutely needed and incredible it felt today then to change into work out clothes and pound along the pavement. My muscles stretched and relaxed, my lungs aired themselves out, the sun and breeze flirted with my skin, my hair shook and bounced, and my skin cleansed itself through sweat and oxygen. It felt absolutely incredible! In fact, it was probably the best thing I had done for myself all week.

As much as I dislike advertisements, there is something about running ads (and ads that contain funny animals) that gets to me every time. There is a current advertisement that shows a gentleman running through a major city. However he's so covered in a mess of taxis, shouting bosses, pressing deadlines, too many people, too much nagging everything, that at the beginning of the ad, he looks like an unnatural monstrosity. It isn't until the end of the ad, after he's shed all the minute details of his stress and pressure, that he resumes his appearance as a normal human being. How true that is! For as I run, I'm not only aware of the movements of my body or of its environment interacting with it, but I'm aware of the thoughts, as I list them, one by one escaping my mind and the release that is gained as my muscles work and stress dissipates. And the feeling leaves one oh so free......

My body had been telling me all week that it needed this. That it needs to be outside, breathing, working, feeling, releasing, and so I am glad to give it what it needs and I look forward to further providing for it. I always get so frustrated that life takes over, and leaves me without time to care for one of the primary things that I need to continue to live...that of my body and that of my health. So the thing that has been on my mind all afternoon truly has been....Thank God I Ran!

Going Up Hill

This past weekend I climbed up a hill literally, figuratively, and emotionally. During the preceding weeks, I had been having something of a mental "quarter-century crisis" as I liked to call it and so as my birthday landed on a weekend this year, I wanted to have a big celebration of a sort to celebrate the major milestones that I have reached thus far. For some reason, my birthday has always been an emotional time for me and my enjoyed celebrations have been the few in which I have been surrounded by those that I care about the most. I can remember more than one year in which I have followed the ol' song "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...." So while no crying on my actual day occurred this year, the transition this year did allow for a big heart-to-heart, soul-pouring-out discussion with my parents. Thank God for those parents! The ones who originally gave me life and continue to emotionally support me!

25-while no major milestone recognized by most, seems to have become a significant number for many of my generation. 25 seems to be the number in which we symbolize the following thought, "shouldn't we have our act together now?" And for the first birthday in a long time, I actually feel sort of well, older, now I suppose. However as I reflected back over the 25 years, I realized that I have accomplished a lot already and felt proud of the decisions that I have made thus far. Thus I know the next 25 are going to be absolutely incredible!

So now that we've covered the emotional and mental climb, what then you may be wondering was my physical climb? Well this year, my birthday was celebrated by a weekend with my parents, my granny, and myself staying at the family beach house up the coast. On Saturday my in-state siblings and their families came over and spent the day with us as well. However even with a large group of people, the day was able to be spent in alignment with my simplistic values.

I woke up early on my birthday and took a peaceful, solitary morning walk on the beach before everyone else arrived, during which I found two sand dollars (which I've taken to be a continual spiritual sign that my life is how it should be as I've found sand dollars the last 4 times). It took my siblings a while to arrive due to road delays, but then after we all had been fed lunch, we headed down to the beach. At this location there is a cape that is about 250 feet tall and while originally not intended, all of us, minus Mom, managed to climb to the top of the cape together. The years have changed it but the view remains ever gorgeous. However the fact that we all were up there together made it even more incredible and special.

After the beach, we had pizzas, cake, and granny-home-made blueberry pie. Good conversation, some California wine, and then Aunt Liz got to enjoy a couple rounds of Twister with the nephew! Dad and I took the younger two nephews on a sand dollar hunt, and while I got a bit wet, I was glad to be able to find a sand dollar for each of them (and have the opportunity to "teach" a tiny bit about the ecosystem-I'm fine with being a nerd). The rest of the crew all headed out and I finally took Granny down for a walk on the beach just with her. After sitting out on the porch with Dad in the final stages of evening, I finally agreed to open the few presents that had been brought after I showered off the four beach trips. How grateful I was that the majority of my family followed my wishes in recognizing that THEY were my presents and the few presents that were brought were completely useful and productive. While the clouds and fog ended up covering the evening meteor shower, I couldn't help but think as I climbed into bed, "God what an absolutely simple, full, and incredible day!" I feel most blessed....

Frugal Subversive Award

Alright, alright, since I have been nominated twice for this award now I suppose I should get around to posting and passing it on! :-) The first time I received the award, I had to look up the word subversive to make sure I agreed with it's actual definition, as most people tend to use the word subversive in a negative connotation. So here it is: subversive: seeking to overturn, overthrow, or upset (religion, government, morality). So while I would prefer: seeking to create change, I will still settle for subversive, and I'm totally in agreement on the frugality part!

This is the start of a new meme - the Frugal Subversive Award. I am giving my award to three bloggers who consistently turn their backs on consumerism to live frugally in a creative and authentic way.

1) Down to Earth-now she started the award and nominated me, so truthfully I don't know if I'm allowed to nominate her back (maybe she doesn't have to re-nominate this way!) but I do know that I so enjoy her inspiration and ideas on further frugality!

2) The Live Lightly Tour-Sara, Matt, and Bella are traveling around the country in a veggie oil converted RV and have reduced their consumption and possessions considerably!

3) And I don't know if he follows blog awards but regardless No Impact Man definitely deserves this award. Even if he doesn't proudly post it or respond, check him out and see what he's been up to living the extremely frugal NYC life!

P.S. A fabulous book on this topic is Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping-Judith Levine

If you are given an award and want to take part in this meme, you can in turn select three other bloggers who have inspired you to be a frugal subversive. Passing the rules on with the award will make it easier for everyone to participate. Congratulations on the award. I hope it helps you spread awareness near and far.

MEME RULES
1. When you are tagged, write a post with links to three blogs who have inspired you with their frugal creativity or innovation.
2. In your post, please link back to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme and save the award graphic.
3. Leave a comment or message for the bloggers you’re tagging, so they they know they're received the award.
4. Display the Frugal Subversive Award badge to identify your blog as part of the movement that is turning its back on consumerism at any cost.

Communication Styles

Over the course of the last week I have started thinking again about communication styles. It has come to my attention through my professional and personal life that communication styles have a lot to do with the strength of a relationship. There are the verbal people, the nonverbal people, the wait-think-and talk people. The fighters, the silent treatment types, the letter writers. And then there are those instances when what you think you communicated or what you think you heard really wasn't the intended message.

This last one we deal with a lot at work. When kids "blow out" we say that they are sending us a big message, but, our belief, is that they do not have the skills, emotions, or cognitions in place to truly communicate "correctly" how they are feeling. How often do adults have that same initial gut reaction? What we really want to do is honk the horn, scream, cry, elude, etc when intense emotions first impact us, but through experience and training, we generally have learned how to handle most of our emotions.

But what do we do when we realize that the way we communicate doesn't function with the way that someone else communicates? Who's needs should be the one met? Should we alter our communication style to try to meet the needs of the other or should we hope that some day common ground can be obtained? If we aren't true to how we communicate then are we really getting our message across? And for this I'm not necessarily talking about fights, I'm talking about just general everyday normal conversation.

We all process communication differently based upon our own schema or previous experiences, thus when someone makes a comment to me, it is entirely possible that I may internalize it differently based upon my own experiences. This occurs for those to whom I am talking also. This happens again and again with one individual in my personal life and I don't know how to change it.

So dear readers, how DO we change it? Or is it possible to alter communication patterns? I suppose maybe this is why couples therapy and family therapy are so popular, as they work a lot with reframing communication patterns. But can good relationships only exist then between those with similiar communication patterns? I'm interested in what YOU have to say.... :-)

Restoring the Sparkle

Today has been an incredibly wonderful day, so while I usually try not to post about things like this: here I go. Some years ago, when I was in high school I remember doing unusual or fun things...marching to my own drummer. I remember having that feeling of freedom, that zest for life, that ability to see the beauty and zaniness that were potential in every moment. So I don't know what happened exactly but somewhere in the years that I was an exchange student and starting college, all of that changed. Sometimes I think it was the pressure of being an "ambassador" of our nation as they used to say and then the process of reacclimating to our society. Sometimes I think that I became so overwhelmed with what I was learning and processing while trying to be the best that I could be....that the joy just got sucked right out of life. Not to say I didn't enjoy things because I have a ton of fond memories from those years of my life, but I felt different....and as one of my high school/family friends told me....that certain sparkle that I had before...was ....well gone.

So why was I thinking of about this before church this morning? I suppose I've sort of realized that there is something to connecting to what you are passionate about in life. The entire process of attempting to reclaim that spark has been on my mind, as it took me many years, experiences, and people to get it back. As mentioned previously, I believe things happen in our lives for a reason and I believe that certain individuals are brought into our lives for reasons as well. We might not always understand these experiences until later, but with reflection each experience is necessary to keep or get us on track. This morning it dawned on me that while I sometimes still try to hide the spark, it is definitely a part of me again and I feel it is in part to reconnecting so strongly to those things with which I am passionate. When I am learning, engaging, or conversing of things that are of importance to me, when I'm out in nature, when I'm with those that I love, then the passion is evidenced by the spark within my personality. That is when the joy of life exudes and there is something about having that spark back that is meaningful to me. Although I still get caught up in moments when I allow propriety or professionalism to dampen the sparkle.....I'm working on this.

So why then was today so wonderful? Because I felt so free yet so connected at the same time! I felt that spark igniting and flying! The sermon at church this morning was right on with the things I have been thinking about lately, ie social justice, etc. After church I drove down the coast with the windows down, the sun shining, and the music flowing until I came to the organic blueberry farm. I picked a large bucket of delicious organic blueberries and filled my stomach as well. I sweated in the inland heat, enjoyed the squawking birds, and I met and joked with some great "old" men and their wives who shared bushes with me-somehow the old men are always the most fun! I then drove down a couple more miles to a little community that has amazing surf waves that I used to always hear about and drive by when I hung out with my surfer buddy. Yet this time I actually stopped at this particular beach and splashed in the waves and felt the sand between my toes. The day felt like it was mine, yet I was most definitely not alone!

I tried to drop some berries off at the local mission, but it was closed on Sunday (interesting that a Christian mission would be closed and NOT serving on a Sunday....). I felt good for attempting to give of my bounty, and then to top things off, I came home and made my first ever batch of freezer jam. Yum! There are still plenty of berries left to share with friends and to make pie. Ray's sharing his blues on the stereo and Gosh-does life ever get better than this? And it's all because it was SIMPLE, ORGANIC, OUTDOOR GOODNESS! Nothing is better than the restoring of the sparkle....

Plan B: Rescuing a Planet....

I am in the final stages of reading the book Plan B: Rescuing a Planet under Stress and a Civilization in Trouble by Lester R. Brown, and the book has set me to thinking.

Mr. Brown discusses in his book what he believes to be some of our current global issues and offers outstanding theoretical evidence to prove the dire situation in which we are presently living. Some of these major issues include:

1) Declining fresh water access: Across the globe, we are increasing our rate of depletion of the water aquifers (yep, including ours here in the US-all of these topics apply to US as well), some of which have no ability to refill. Rivers and seas are also diminishing, especially as we are diverting water to arid areas for irrigation purposes. Decreased snow pack is also causing increased flooding in winter and less water flow during the hotter seasons.

2) Decreasing grain yields: While populations continue to grow, grain production has begun to decrease, which eventually could lead to more people and less food. We have begun to tap into our grain reserves. Fertile lands across the world also continue to decrease due to poor farming practices leading to increased deserts, among other reasons.

3) Global warming: Rising temperatures will decrease food production, while also continuing to increase the melting of ice caps. While the melting of some zones will not rise ocean levels, this phenom could occur if areas such as Greenland melt off. Rising ocean levels would then lead to the displacement of millions of individuals. Rising temperatures are also responsible for increased storms, which leads to horrible devastation.

4) Health epidemics: In poverty stricken areas, health epidemics such as AIDS, malaria, and the like decrease life expectancy and continue the cycle of poverty. Poverty restricts the ability of an individual to avoid such diseases and the diseases restrict the ability of an individual to move out of poverty. Within the world, one billion people are horribly under-nourished while one billion people are obese. Social injustice remains.

5) An underlying issue in each of the four issues mentioned above is that of population increase. The world continues to grow in population size increasing the pressure upon clean fresh water, food, and land usage. Increasing population in the industrialized nations also increases our overconsumption and our carbon footprints.

One major issue I began to think about in response to these topics is that of immigration. While I have a VERY liberal stance on immigration, I began to think about all of the environmental refugees that will be present in the world in the worse case scenario. If rising waters do occur, who takes responsibility for the individuals that will be displaced? Should it be us, here in the US, as we are the ones that have contributed some of the highest amounts of carbon gases to create the potential greenhouse effect? Should it be the neighboring countries as the displaced persons may benefit more from similar locales? What if the neighboring countries already have a high population count and are stressed beyond belief? Should displaced persons be distributed among a variety of countries? Should we all take on the "problem?"

My first problem with this discussion is that I feel like I'm talking about a commodity and not a person. My second problem is that I cannot even imagine what it would be like to be in that situation. Yet how do I know that some day I might not be banging on the door of a different country requesting the right to live on its land due to being displaced for political, environmental, or religious reasons. This is my primary problem with talking about immigration issues or listening to others talk about immigration issues. I definitely understand how increased people creates a "burden" on a society or a government, but if I was in the same situation as that person, I am almost sure that I would have made the same decision. If I was fighting for basic survival, I would have no qualms whatsoever to do whatever it took to cross a border into a land where life was "better." Why am I citizen of my nation and someone from a third world country is not? Two answers: luck and because I was born here-they go hand in hand. I could have been born there and someone else would have been here in my shoes......so who am I to deny anyone else the right to try to live where water is supposedly clean, the forests exist and are green, and the American "dream" can be attempted?

So I feel like I have two choices: I can attempt to make better individual choices to benefit the globe including the people and the lands contained in it OR I can begin to think about a day when I might be displaced or have to help support the displacement of others. Personally I currently think about both, but I would rather engage in choice a than have to face the facts of choice b.

The Green Update

It's been a while so thought I should write about how my greening and goals are going.

1) Saturdays: The laundry line is going well and I love it! I actually look forward every Saturday to hanging my laundry on the line. It smells fresh and it gets me outside. The vinegar and baking soda cleaning continues well also and is still as fun as the first time!

2) Driving: Still doing minimal driving-one or two trips a day. It's still rare when I drive across town to the neighboring town. Have done some longer weekend trips though. Continue to get my car serviced on a regular basis which helps keep it in check with emissions, mpg, and tire pressure. Also don't wash or vacuum it until it gets serviced. The bike is fixed-but unfortunately haven't used it too much, should substitute biking for the little driving that I do.

3) Utilities: Continue to unplug all electronics when not in use. Still working on water usage. Cutting down on water when washing dishes is easy, the showers-I think I need a timer. Also have cut down on how much I am actually using electronics-TV watching is at a minimum these days.

4) Food: zucchini bombed, our tomatoes and the green beans are growing, peas are done, the peppers might just be coming up so we'll have to see if they can produce in time. Continue with left overs and we have eaten some food locally. Hoping tomorrow to pick organic blueberries from down the coast. Summer has been great for increased produce. Need to solve my bottled water problem but that might require buying something...

5) Shopping: Except for a few items for the classroom and the occasional eating/drinking out, I still haven't bought much. Lately have had to explain to others my values that I don't shop at Wal-Mart or eat fast food. No new clothes, shoes, fun items, etc that I can think of since the Goodwill dress Mom bought last month. Somehow I don't miss new stuff or bought experiences though. And I greatly prefer the extra money that goes toward paying off my debts. The cell phone seems to be working now so I'm going to make it go until it actually dies, regardless of any promotional discounts!

6) Giving/Spiritual: Have knitted an additional scarf and am 1/2 done with another. Have increased tithing to my home churches and charity. Attempted to give blood, but they lost pressure on my blood flow and had to throw away the bag. Will try again in Sept after I relocate. Putting the volunteer opportunity on hold as the one I was pursuing didn't work out for the summer and I will be relocated within the next few months. Had the kids make children's quilts, so need to mail those off to the correct locations once finished piecing together. Need to crack down on my Bible reading if I'm going to make it by my birthday but I still think it's possible. Am glad with how much I have read thus far-this is the first time I've stuck with it!

7) Natural products: Still on target with body and facial soap, shampoo/conditioner, laundry detergent, and now cleaning products. Still using recyclable toothbrushes and razors. The Diva Cup wasn't the best in the world so switched back to regular feminine care, ie not so earth or body friendly. Need to switch to natural cosmetics and back to natural toothpaste once these are depleted. Have quit painting my toe nails to reduce exposure to chemicals.

However I have begun to realize that I need to do more, so I am going to begin to think of more ways that I can individually shrink my footprint and/or positively impact the lives of others.

Control Issues

"When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm, Father You are King over the flood, I will be still, know you are God"

My wonderful cousin emailed me this line from a worship song. It has such soothing properties for me everytime I glance at it. Over the last week, I have had a couple of difficult days at work just due to the nature of this job. I also have had less time to put my feet up and just "get my ducks in a row." I am one who needs to have my surroudings organized, which organizes my mind, which in turn allows for my day to run smoothly. Thus when any of the three mentioned above is off, I begin to have control issues. When the reins are loose, I start yanking around wildly to try to regain control. However these triggers also seem to happen when my spiritual life is lacking. And as mentioned in a previous post, my life is most simplified when I have given my concerns and daily stresses over to God. When I no longer have to worry, then simplification can continue to take root.

Thus during this time, I realize that I need to let go and allow simplicity to regain its foothold. For me this can occur by several different ways. Writing in my journal to release the overabundance that has taken root in my mind, reading in my Bible to reconnect to my goals and to feed my spiritual hole, engaging in physical exercise to use my muscles and relieve tension, sleeping or physically resting to ease all of my senses from over exertion-any and all of these allow me to release and reconnect to what is truly important. My simplicity comes from the realization of what is truly necessary for my daily survival and when I return to that my own need for control drops as I recognize all that I truly have. Things seem out of control when we see what is lacking where as when we focus on all that we have we recognize the simple blessings that are present in our daily lives. So self, forget control and focus on the grace of simplicity.....

Revisiting Tradition

This past weekend the females on one side of my family revisited tradition and paid homage to our matriarch. For the fifth year in a row, we held our annual tea party to help my granny celebrate her birthday. Now this is not your average event. Each year we bake or make traditional tea party foods such as fruit salads, scones with homemade jams, sandwiches with the crusts cut off, mini muffins, and many other scrumptious treats. For this event the family heirloom tea cups and other china are brought out and given back life. The silver tea pot gets polished and the creamer and sugar containers are used. The posh hats, old fashioned jewelry, and other past fashionable items are used for decor either around the room or on our persons. And generally it just gives us time to be silly and we as adults get to play dress up.

Each year our food is slightly different, our tea selections change, and our outfits differ, but the thing that remains the same and the thing that is most important is that of our intention: to spend time together and to demonstrate to our mother/grandmother that we love and respect her and the life that she has lived. Some years we are in our finest garb and on our finest behavior and other years we are just dressed nicely and act appropriately. Some moments we are silly and other moments we are serious. But the thing that remains the same is the time and love that is present in the room for the few hours that we are together. During this time we visit, support, and laugh with each other. We share old stories and talk about the future. We discuss those we miss who are not present with us for the day, and we welcome those who are new to our "family." We can't ALL make it every year, but every year those who are not there are still present in our thoughts and hearts.

Sometimes I like to imagine what "true" tea parties used to be like and while our attire and behavior may not exactly match, I believe what is on our hearts, minds, and behind our conversations remains the same. I truly enjoy these moments of family togetherness, of fun and silliness through dressing up, of honest conversation, of revering the presence and life of my grandmother. And it makes me feel honored and proud that we have created our own tradition through the renewal of a past tradition. We are using elements of the past to embark on the celebration of the present and of the future. And in being together, we are letting my grandmother know that we are thankful for who she was yesterday, is today, and will be for all of tomorrow. When it comes to cherished times and memories, these will be some of my favorites-no matter how sepia colored and wrinkled the memories may become throughout the span of my lifetime.