Mind check

Some nights you just need to put cotton in your ears. Do you ever have moments when you feel so tired of the expectations upon you and the things that "must get done"? Yesterday I had one of those moments-when I was tired of thinking/doing/resisting all the things that I need to get done for my job, for the people in my life, for school. So instead I just put it all on the back burner-opened a bottle of wine, put in one of my favorite movies, and took an evening to just be alone.....and relish it. I went to bed at a decent hour with my earplugs in-knowing I'd need a good sleep in order to wake up for a productive day.

Luckily I know myself well enough to know that sometimes I work better after an evening such as this. When I can take a few hours just for self care--enough to really engage in the material with a clear head the next day. So I'm up early to wrap up the current final piece of my job expectations...well for now. I'm sure there will be more heading in my direction within the next week. However this is the final piece of what has been talked about this month.

We're steadily approaching midterms and I keep telling myself that I just have to make it through half of this term and then one more after that. Next term is primarily just my internship and studying for comprehensive exams. I'm looking forward to days when I have 2 or 3 set things ahead of me and not 15 loose ends that need to be thought about but not taken care of just yet. After this long road of educational achievement, I'm itching to be done, done, done.

In the midst of it all, I'm still trying to remember to smile at strangers and spread kindness as I can, work on the occasional scarf, etc etc. These are the things that I wish could be more the focus of my life instead of mindful extras I'm making when my thoughts are so buried on other topics. Yet my housemate yesterday reminded me of the concept of being blessed....that even with the opportunities/expectations/responsibilities that weigh us down...we need to remember that they are also blessings. While I'm tired of school and a hundred other little things, I need to remember how fortunate I am to have had the means and opportunity to pursue my goals & have these experiences when so many others have the same doors shut in their faces or the doors just remain unapproachable. So in a strange way, it's important that I remember to be fortunate for that which gives me grief. ;-)

And with that I'll stop my frustrated, whining ramble, and instead wish that each of you is having a week full of joy and blessings!