Life: Both a Cluster...and Yet Beautiful

Sometimes parts of life....are hard. Sometimes you realize yet again that things are missing. Sometimes you realize (again) that the promises you meant to keep....might not actually be kept. Sometimes areas of life seem painfully sad....and less than hopeful. And sometimes stubbornness continues to reign its head. Sometimes one needs to actually take the time to stop and think and listen and realize that what everyone else is saying....does have truth. And sometimes it's hard to think about potentially shutting a door, even when one knows that door has already been half shut. Sometimes one gets tired of thinking and talking and answering questions about the same old, same old, no change game. And sometimes you just need a break. And sometimes one needs to realize that asking someone to change who they are in their core is probably a no-win outcome. Sometimes you don't know which is worse.....being kept in a corner or being independently solo...again.

And yet sometimes, there's nothing as gratifying as a few moments of walking in a back yard. Of seeing green shoots and watching thick ladies sit on eggs. Of scratching, shedding dogs or snoozing, comfortable cats. Sometimes there's nothing as satisfying as a cup of tea in one's favorite flowered mug or the smell of work coffee wafting from a cup. Sometimes there's nothing like throwing one's self into work---finalizing projects and discussing pertinent issues with those who make academic decisions. Sometimes you recognize that the benefits you bring to those you work with, also want to be bestowed back upon you. And sometimes there's patience to be gleaned from waiting on PR phone calls from New York and working with community partners. Sometimes waiting for hours for maintenance issues to be completed is just the forced reprieve one needs. Sometimes the biggest smiles come from catching dogs snout deep in chicken feed or from multiple viewings of tickled penguins. Sometimes even though you realize it could potentially just be a lost cause, you relish every kiss, every touch, every look...as they're finally brought back into rotation. And sometimes you continue to wait with guarded heart and limited hope, because what you've hoped beyond hope for days and months and years seems to be considered unreasonable and unmet.

But in every gray cloud there continues to be elements of silver linings and who knows that better than those of us who live here in Oregon? And behind every winter always arrives spring..followed but the bounty and beauty of summer.