One of my Army spouse gals just wrote a post on Confessions and asked some of the rest of us to join in, so I thought I'd oblige her, even if it's just cause I miss her and even if many of my recent confessions might be more like environmental downfalls ;) Haha. The other fun part of this is that it reminded me of when hub and I were getting married...I sent him an email with a list of the things I was afraid of having someone else know about my daily habitats and living tendencies!
So without further ado, a list of my recent and maybe past confessions:
1) My green journey has taken a somewhat dive: I've turned on the AC at night, we forget to use our tote bags almost 90% of the time, we use paper towels, my tampons aren't organic and I failed at the Diva cup, the food garden feels like more of a hobby than a necessity, I scrubbed the shower with harsh chemicals two weeks ago, and (sigh) hub has sprayed chemicals on some of our weeds. I'm not entirely sure what's happening to us....I still love the planet, I still want to be sustainable, we still make strides more than many, but I think living in the South sort of disenfranchised my heart a bit to feel like it's going to make much difference. Although it's not that I don't care....because I most definitely do.
2) I have to take a daily shower, and usually it happens at night in order to save time in the mornings. Plus somehow I feel like it keeps my sheets cleaner for longer, since I go to bed clean then. ;) (Although side note: for the last few years I've become a night time sweat-er....so I'm not so sure how well this theory works anymore!)
3) When people ask for a word to describe oneself, I almost always choose eclectic or contradictory. I'm a small town girl with big city tendencies. I'm a hippy chick from a log town. I love all things international yet with nationalistic pride. I'm big on peace and anti-war, yet believe in the need for our military and its troops. And all this also transfers over to my professional life. People tell me that my resume is impressive and it is, but I also have had a lot of very different jobs already. My main professional experience could be said to fall into social services, teaching, and research...but in a whole host of areas. I tend to like to work in the fields that I am most passionate about---adoptions, teaching, health, social justice, independent living skills, career and educational advancement, Latinos, international relations, environmental exposures, literacy, and veterans. I honestly expect to see a continual evolution of my professional fields....but who knows maybe I'll actually find a niche.
4) When I'm stressed (or PMSing), I clean and organize my surroundings like a maniac. When my surroundings are ordered, it makes the rest of life feel manageable too. I also like it to be quiet rather than loud for the same reasons. However this all also means that I'm not always the most wonderful person to live with.....
5) As much as I'm big on saving the dollar signs, when hub and I go on vacation we absolutely love to eat out. I'm not sure if this is because we want to soak up as much of the local flavor as possible, if we're just super lazy, or if it's because as kids we rarely ate out on vacays with our families....but regardless if we're away-from-home we're almost always in a restaurant if we have the budget available. This was incredibly apparent when we were down in our hometown over the long weekend: dinner out two nights at hubs favorite restaurants in town, evening pre-football game pizza and a separate lunch out with hubs fam, breakfast at our favorite lil country diner, pie with one of my gals, and at least two trips out for coffee. Beyond the dollars....my waistline also shows the effects.....
6) Since getting married, I have this irrational fear of putting on weight. I'm not sure if it's because a) my body type within my fam is predisposed to obesity b) the fact that hub is an incredible hottie and I feel I have to try to keep up c) the fact that hub has gotten a lot thinner in the last year d) that I feel I need to represent "health" since that's what I teach e) that I find it uncomfortable to sit when I feel extra inches piling up on my waist or f) that I'm too cheap to want to buy a whole new wardrobe if I do go up a size. Regardless of the reasons, in the last 2-3 years I feel a lot of internal pressure to stay the size that I am. This size is healthy for my body size and bone structure, but ironically it's also much thinner than where I was for several years in my life.
7) This last month I feel like I'm 30ish...in a good way, although it also makes me wonder if I'm selling out. I ordered the Pottery Barn bed, I'm researching a trade-in for my vehicle and paying off hub's truck, I'm planning on buying a new/used wedding band, we're talking about where we could take a "real" vacation in the next three years. Without getting overconfident (cause we're never certain!!), finances feel like they're failing into place a bit more. Hub and I pretty much function independently financially, each covering separate things, but I've reached that spot where I could actually completely function comfortably and financially solo... and its sort of a nice spot to finally have arrived at. However I feel guilty because I'm noticing a tendency to fill my life with "things" (albeit increased quality) and I'm not sure that's the direction I want to be moving in. Yet, it also means that my giving is increasing and for the first time ever I'm signing up for regular monthly giving to my charities of choice. This is something I'm still thinking on....and in the meantime hub's snapped me out of my 30ish facade by bringing up the idea of having his friend move in to an extra room... ;)
8) Three things are always on my heart even if I don't always let them consistently into my mind: adoption, equitable distribution/social justice, sustaining God's creation. In the midst of getting caught up in society's expectation of the World, sometimes I forget about the expectation of the Word and of the items that have been placed on my heart.
9) Of the new vehicles I'm looking at getting, they're all SUVs/crossovers. Although I'm being incredibly mindful of gas mileage, I'd really like something that would allow for me to haul both dogs and non-furry passengers. We're in the research and information gathering stage still and will need to sell off my Honda. Multiple little stages still, but the vehicles currently in the running: Subuaru Forester or Outback, Toyota Rav4 (prob with 4wd), or the GMC Terrain/Chevy Equinox. Feedback is always greatly appreciated.
10) Today I attended a training/retreat for the new job and one of the sessions I attended was about the five love language types as I've always wondered what my types actually are. Big surprise my LEAST love language is gifts aka I'm not a fan of receiving THINGS. ;) And then it was an almost even 3-way tie for the top scores of service, quality time, and touch. Touch has been a big one, as my family has always been big on giving love via touch but hub hates touch, which was an incredibly hard adjustment for me to our marriage (and still is at times.) Ironically even after almost 6 months back in Oregon though, I still have to mentally give myself permission or think about hugging or touching other people aka family and close friends....
Okay and a couple quick links:
I LOVE Flower Patch Farm Girl. She speaks to my heart. She's walking toward a Christ centered life. She's an adoptive parent x3. She's now a foster parent. She's a farm girl. She loves JCrew. She's hilarious. And most of all she's real. And she just posted a link to a video that her husband and her are in for their church that I think is great message to all of us. (They're Cory & Shannan...listed bottom right.)
If you want to know what it can be like for an adoptive parent, truly, really....then this post is fabulous. Adoption isn't always pretty....just like being a parent isn't always pretty, but even through the hate, the confusion, the extreme disruptive behaviors that can occur at times, kids need someone who is steadfast, who is full of love unconditional, who can compromise, who can give....and it ain't easy.
Be good, be real, be true, be confessing ;) Enjoy!
So without further ado, a list of my recent and maybe past confessions:
1) My green journey has taken a somewhat dive: I've turned on the AC at night, we forget to use our tote bags almost 90% of the time, we use paper towels, my tampons aren't organic and I failed at the Diva cup, the food garden feels like more of a hobby than a necessity, I scrubbed the shower with harsh chemicals two weeks ago, and (sigh) hub has sprayed chemicals on some of our weeds. I'm not entirely sure what's happening to us....I still love the planet, I still want to be sustainable, we still make strides more than many, but I think living in the South sort of disenfranchised my heart a bit to feel like it's going to make much difference. Although it's not that I don't care....because I most definitely do.
2) I have to take a daily shower, and usually it happens at night in order to save time in the mornings. Plus somehow I feel like it keeps my sheets cleaner for longer, since I go to bed clean then. ;) (Although side note: for the last few years I've become a night time sweat-er....so I'm not so sure how well this theory works anymore!)
3) When people ask for a word to describe oneself, I almost always choose eclectic or contradictory. I'm a small town girl with big city tendencies. I'm a hippy chick from a log town. I love all things international yet with nationalistic pride. I'm big on peace and anti-war, yet believe in the need for our military and its troops. And all this also transfers over to my professional life. People tell me that my resume is impressive and it is, but I also have had a lot of very different jobs already. My main professional experience could be said to fall into social services, teaching, and research...but in a whole host of areas. I tend to like to work in the fields that I am most passionate about---adoptions, teaching, health, social justice, independent living skills, career and educational advancement, Latinos, international relations, environmental exposures, literacy, and veterans. I honestly expect to see a continual evolution of my professional fields....but who knows maybe I'll actually find a niche.
4) When I'm stressed (or PMSing), I clean and organize my surroundings like a maniac. When my surroundings are ordered, it makes the rest of life feel manageable too. I also like it to be quiet rather than loud for the same reasons. However this all also means that I'm not always the most wonderful person to live with.....
5) As much as I'm big on saving the dollar signs, when hub and I go on vacation we absolutely love to eat out. I'm not sure if this is because we want to soak up as much of the local flavor as possible, if we're just super lazy, or if it's because as kids we rarely ate out on vacays with our families....but regardless if we're away-from-home we're almost always in a restaurant if we have the budget available. This was incredibly apparent when we were down in our hometown over the long weekend: dinner out two nights at hubs favorite restaurants in town, evening pre-football game pizza and a separate lunch out with hubs fam, breakfast at our favorite lil country diner, pie with one of my gals, and at least two trips out for coffee. Beyond the dollars....my waistline also shows the effects.....
6) Since getting married, I have this irrational fear of putting on weight. I'm not sure if it's because a) my body type within my fam is predisposed to obesity b) the fact that hub is an incredible hottie and I feel I have to try to keep up c) the fact that hub has gotten a lot thinner in the last year d) that I feel I need to represent "health" since that's what I teach e) that I find it uncomfortable to sit when I feel extra inches piling up on my waist or f) that I'm too cheap to want to buy a whole new wardrobe if I do go up a size. Regardless of the reasons, in the last 2-3 years I feel a lot of internal pressure to stay the size that I am. This size is healthy for my body size and bone structure, but ironically it's also much thinner than where I was for several years in my life.
7) This last month I feel like I'm 30ish...in a good way, although it also makes me wonder if I'm selling out. I ordered the Pottery Barn bed, I'm researching a trade-in for my vehicle and paying off hub's truck, I'm planning on buying a new/used wedding band, we're talking about where we could take a "real" vacation in the next three years. Without getting overconfident (cause we're never certain!!), finances feel like they're failing into place a bit more. Hub and I pretty much function independently financially, each covering separate things, but I've reached that spot where I could actually completely function comfortably and financially solo... and its sort of a nice spot to finally have arrived at. However I feel guilty because I'm noticing a tendency to fill my life with "things" (albeit increased quality) and I'm not sure that's the direction I want to be moving in. Yet, it also means that my giving is increasing and for the first time ever I'm signing up for regular monthly giving to my charities of choice. This is something I'm still thinking on....and in the meantime hub's snapped me out of my 30ish facade by bringing up the idea of having his friend move in to an extra room... ;)
8) Three things are always on my heart even if I don't always let them consistently into my mind: adoption, equitable distribution/social justice, sustaining God's creation. In the midst of getting caught up in society's expectation of the World, sometimes I forget about the expectation of the Word and of the items that have been placed on my heart.
9) Of the new vehicles I'm looking at getting, they're all SUVs/crossovers. Although I'm being incredibly mindful of gas mileage, I'd really like something that would allow for me to haul both dogs and non-furry passengers. We're in the research and information gathering stage still and will need to sell off my Honda. Multiple little stages still, but the vehicles currently in the running: Subuaru Forester or Outback, Toyota Rav4 (prob with 4wd), or the GMC Terrain/Chevy Equinox. Feedback is always greatly appreciated.
10) Today I attended a training/retreat for the new job and one of the sessions I attended was about the five love language types as I've always wondered what my types actually are. Big surprise my LEAST love language is gifts aka I'm not a fan of receiving THINGS. ;) And then it was an almost even 3-way tie for the top scores of service, quality time, and touch. Touch has been a big one, as my family has always been big on giving love via touch but hub hates touch, which was an incredibly hard adjustment for me to our marriage (and still is at times.) Ironically even after almost 6 months back in Oregon though, I still have to mentally give myself permission or think about hugging or touching other people aka family and close friends....
Okay and a couple quick links:
I LOVE Flower Patch Farm Girl. She speaks to my heart. She's walking toward a Christ centered life. She's an adoptive parent x3. She's now a foster parent. She's a farm girl. She loves JCrew. She's hilarious. And most of all she's real. And she just posted a link to a video that her husband and her are in for their church that I think is great message to all of us. (They're Cory & Shannan...listed bottom right.)
If you want to know what it can be like for an adoptive parent, truly, really....then this post is fabulous. Adoption isn't always pretty....just like being a parent isn't always pretty, but even through the hate, the confusion, the extreme disruptive behaviors that can occur at times, kids need someone who is steadfast, who is full of love unconditional, who can compromise, who can give....and it ain't easy.
Be good, be real, be true, be confessing ;) Enjoy!
6 comments:
What a great post! I loved reading all of your confessions, and probably could never be so candid...or maybe I could :-) I have been thinking a lot about adoption recently. I'm just not sure how my attitude would be toward adopted children since I already have 2 of my own. I know that sounds completely awful, but I also know how hard it is to have little kids and I wouldn't want to ever be resentful. But, it has been on my heart a lot lately, so I have been exploring it some. There are so many kids out there that could use help, it breaks my heart.
i am definitely starting to feel the eco-burnout. it's just so tiring sometimes to be constantly doing little things to be more environmentally friendly.
I think it's normal, and the important thing is that you recognize these acts and that you still care :)
ouuu a new-used wedding band? Andrew and I want to get him a different wedding band.... ok I want him to get a new band, but he's attached to the one used in the ceremony. It's nice to read of another couple doing the same :)
Thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed reading these! Actually, I think this post makes me miss you even more, but I still like it all the same. :)
Cuz, this was a good post. I love how honest you are about your life changes and thoughts! I have lots of confessions... haha Where to begin?!
I absolutely love Flower Patch Farmgirl - Shannan is a neat individual. I loved that video with her and her husband. Very inspiring.
<3 you!
it's good to be totally open about what you're experiencing in getting more sustainable...one tip on cleaning the bathtub? baking soda paste for the tiles & tub, and a thin brush dipped in non-chlorine bleach for between the tiles. i just did it this weekend and it was shiny white in no time. and girl, i NEVVVVER clean my tub. :)
So many great responses on this one! ;)
@Heather/ME, adoption definitely requires a lot. If it's been on your heart recently, maybe infant adoption would be a good fit for you and your fam? Just a suggestion!
@EcoY, not burning out can be challenging! Keep your head up about it all also and keep taking the strides that you do ;) Ironically I didn't mention that hub doesn't wear a band (don't get me started ;)) and my original band is one I picked up for $50 so I'd have something. I also wear a family ring on my ring finger to symbolize to myself my commitment to both hub AND fam. Getting a legit diamond is something I've struggled with for years, but I feel myself being more inclined to go that route...if I can find an antique one that already had a past life. ;) I'll be interested to hear about Andrew's choice!
@EcoGrrl, yep, baking soda is amazing! Definitely used to use baking soda & vinegar for all my household cleaning needs :) Thanks for visiting :)
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