One of the books I purchased on my Natchitoches excusion a few weeks back was Suck Your Stomach In & Put Some Color On! by Shellie Rushing Tomlinson (The Belle of All Things Southern). Southerners are renowned for their manners and charm and the book itself I found to be really pretty entertaining. Many of the examples in the book reminded me of one of my coworkers who is a born & bred Louisiana woman and per her request I intend to loan the book out to her in the next week. Being here in the south has definitely made me realize that I will NEVER be capable of being a Southern belle (my husband is wonderful at honestly letting me know that I lack a certain amount of tact at times and I will never desire to wear lipstick, fry my food, or add body to my perpetually flat hair), but I found it interesting that several of the elements of what it takes to be a Southern belle are in fact general manners and hospitality that have been taught in my non-Southern family. (Although I was reminded of several things that I should be practicing to be a better person and a better hostess.)
My mother was a wonderful example of welcoming guests into our home and always offering to get them something to eat or drink upon arrival. Containers of left overs were sent home with dinner guests and while dad was in the military the home was kept in pristine guest ready condition at all times in the event that someone would be dropping by. I've mentioned before how important it is to me to have comfortable guest settings both as a potential guest and for those that visit my home---a comfortable, clean place to lay their heads, clean sheets and towels, organized and clean bathrooms, and in prepartion for granny's visit we're working on better behaving pets!
Additionally, granny instilled in me her own lessons. Every morning upon waking up, you put your face on and get yourself ready regardless of what you're doing during the day. Its worth getting yourself ready even if its just for yourself. Cussing is a sign of a lack of education (although sigh, being around the military even I've slacked on my own rule on this one....) You always fix a bit extra in case of a potential extra mouth.....or for your own left overs! Your clothing should match, cover everything it needs to, and be age and weather appropriate. You don't talk back to your elders and you respect them. Attempt to be nice to all people. But probably one of the biggest lessons Granny taught all of us was that of the thinking of you card and thank you! We were to send thank you notes within a reasonable amount of time and she wanted it to include information about what we had been up to too.
The thank you note is something I feel is being lost in our current society. I will readily admit that at times I have fallen down on it myself and its been months late in the coming, but nothing frustrates me more than sending wedding or baby gifts and not having any indication of it even being received. Because not only does the thank you note demonstrate gratitude but it also lets the sender know that the recepient did indeed receive the gift. In this day and age, I will readily admit that if my main communication with that individual has been via email then I'm in full support of sending and receiving email thank you messages. But if I'm needing to express my gratitude to anyone in a more formal setting, then the thank you is always sent in the form of a hand-written note. I send thank yous for gifts, for interviews, for scholarships, for networking opportunities, for supportive friendship, etc. And I definitely agree with the need to follow the set thank you pattern. Thank the sender for the exact item sent, express what you intend to do with or how said item benefitted you, express interest and care in the individual who sent it, and sign off with some sort of sign of gratitude/affection.
These thoughts about thank yous are some that have come up even in my line of work recently, as a client debated in a recent workshop about the current necessity of sending a thank you for a job inteview. I explained to this client that the thank you demonstrates your ability to be be an appreciative employee and to be part of a team. And I gave the example of one of my closest and longest friends who has never failed to get a job she interviewed for because a) she's a fabulous interview preparer and b) she follows the gratitude/thank you card to a T. Thus this week I've been glad to be the receipent of three thank you notes. Two from my care package receipents: my sister-in-law and a fellow blogger friend, and one from my nephew that had been misplaced by my sister (I'm pretty sure this was one of the few thank yous I've received from him!). Nothing makes my day at work more than a client who takes the time to send an emailed note of appreciation.
Its my sincerest desire that we should keep the thank you note alive! Why shouldn't we take the time to let others know how much we appreciate them, regardless of whether its for a routine event, unexpected item or demonstration, or just for being them? Let's keep the the gift of appreciation alive....keep sending those thank yous!
3 comments:
GREAT post...hospitality is becoming a lost art in so many ways but it means so much when someone takes the time to make a visit special!
Ok so this is probably one of my favorite blog posts of yours (and I love them all-- I think you are such a neat lady!). I am very passionate about keeping the thank you note alive and feel it is extremely important. It shows that one really appreciates what someone else has done for them-- it requires the person to be ACTIVE in thanking another.
I am sure I'll have a blog post like this within the next month or so. I feel so blessed to have learned such good lessons from Granny. :)
This was a great post. As a Southerner I was raised with a great emphasis on manners and many of the points you make are ingrained in me. However, as I was reading this I realized I let today's busy life get in my way sometimes, and I slack off. My grandmothers would give me a 'talking to' no doubt, as there should be no excuses. Thank you for the reminders.
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