Catchy phrases reiterated from my mother will forever reside in the back of my head. Lately the phrase, "Beggars can't be choosers" has been taking a couple of laps around my brain. But my question is: How do we know when we're being too picky?
In this housing ordeal, I find ads that sound appealing and either 1) I don't get a response or 2) I'm left with the feeling that the ad sounds "just right, but..." In the last three weeks I have contacted in some form 10-15 ads. I recognize that this is minimal, but I am ideally looking to live in a select area of the city (which is pickiness #1). I could list any number of additional "pickiness" thoughts that live in my brain: decent sized room, yard, close to public transport, quiet enough to study and sleep, 1-2 other individuals living in the home, individuals that are at least similar or open enough to be okay with my lifestyle, and affordable. But at what point do I truly become the beggar and have to agree to settle?
Housing has forever been a difficult situation for me. I butted heads with both my college dorm roommates based on personality. My final year of college I lived with a great group of girls, but since that time I have primarily chosen to live alone or to return to live with my parents. I have always been sensitive to noise and I appreciate having my own organized space. And the more socially and environmentally aware I become, the more outside my own generation I feel (especially since I have these values but do not engage in smoking anything extra).
I guess now my biggest debate is which item to do I compromise on? Do I give up my preferred mode of public transportation and have to drive slightly farther for I-5 access? Do I begin to contact individuals who have some larger traits that don't adhere to my values? Do I bite the bullet and hope I can afford an extra $50 a month in rent and live in a bit noiser of a neighborhood? Or do I try my best to remain patient for the next couple of weeks, truly believing that the right opportunity will open up?
However, when I truly think about it: beggars are always choosers too. I think about this when it comes to the homeless individuals. And I think about this when it comes to my interactions with friends and family. It still floors me that people "close" to me, still invite me to events that they know contradict my values or continue to ask me to join them at things that they know I don't care to spend money on. So even at this stage of my life, I'm still making choices to turn down things that don't adhere to my values (even though I look like the grinch who stole 'fun' in the process). I wish more people my age would recognize it doesn't take a big event to "build community" and that the best times are spent in the simplest and most low-key of ways.
Until then, please continue to send positive thoughts or prayer this way for a great (and not super compromising) housing situation. Hope you all are having a fabulous week!
5 comments:
I'm thinking good thoughts for you. I would say this, how much time do you think you'll actually spend with your future housemates? With all that you've got going on I'm willing to bet not much, keep that in mind when you meet folks.
or if you wanted to move to the other side of the country and live with like minded individuals i could hook you up with a great apartment in my house! i will keep your housing search in my prayers, i'm sure you will find exactly what you are looking for. God has a way of working things out for the best :-)
I don't suppose you'd care to move to sunny Edmonton? ;) Your 'pickiness' sure sounds a lot like mine when I was in grad school. I usually ended up paying a bit more for rent so I could have my own space, but things cost a lot less then. You will know when you find your new home - it will just feel right. Sending you lots of good thoughts and vibes: ~~~~~~~~~~~~
You will probably find as you get older that there will always be people in your life that don't "get" you. They invite you to join them in activities because they value your friendship and company. I would keep pursuing better housing, but also keep an open mind and realize that for this season of your life, things may not be perfect. But then, are they ever?
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your positive thoughts, prayers, and comments. I know the right situation will work out. I appreciate all of the support!
Heather, I wish I could rent your studio too! :-)
And Theresa, glad I'm not the only one! I'm waiting for the "right" feel, thank you for reassuring me.
Kathie, thanks for the positive thoughts. I actually usually am in the home a good chunk of time because I alway study best at home. So the environment is important to me for that aspect, but I completely get what you're saying. Most things are bearable for a year!
Anita, thanks for the thoughts. I agree there will always be people who don't want to accept that others are different from themselves. Thank you for reminding me that even though it's frustrating, it's usually because they just want to spend time with you. And thank you for pushing me on to find the right situation.
Hope you all had a good weekend!!
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