Time for Renewal

Last week was a difficult one focusing on too many worries--something that is never beneficial for mental health. I'm not a patient person and right now I'm waiting on a lot of unknowns. Lately I haven't focused on different aspects of my health, and I had planned on spending most this weekend studying for my midterm. Yesterday I was to spend needed time with my extended family, but Friday night I struggled with dizziness. This happens when I'm not regulating my nutritional needs, but I thought it would pass. However yesterday afternoon I still felt "off" and as I was not 100% sure why, we decided it would be better for me to stay home. The ironic thing is that I'm someone who really dislikes being alone when I'm sick. An entire day sick cooped up inside seemed like a lot-- but it was just what I needed.

I didn't have energy yesterday to study, I have no TV, and it totally exhausted me just to walk the 4 flights of stairs to check mail. So what was I to do? I crawled into pjs, opened windows to air my apartment, planned balanced meals to eat throughout the day, and spent the afternoon flipping through an "anything" book.

As a sophomore in high school, I had a teacher who assigned us to make "anything books"--books that were to contain expression of just that-anything. I enjoyed the assignment so much that I've continued it throughout the years. Thus yesterday, I opened the most recent book and re-read notes taken on books about simple living. I looked at the pictures I've pasted that represent aspects of myself and what I want out of life. In so doing, I was reminded why all of that, all of what this blog is supposed to be about, is so important to me. It reminded me to stay true to my values and to not get wrapped up in the minuscule dramas of things I can't control. This knowledge continued as I spent the evening watching a favorite movie that speaks of the things that are really important in life and the reality that life evolves of itself. I went to bed peaceful and renewed.

Today I woke up feeling better but decided to continue to feed my spirit. I attended a new church, as I've come to realize how necessary it is for me to be in communion with other believers, to be in the Word, to be in prayer, to recognize that faith will carry me through. I thoroughly cleaned my apartment. I planted the next round of my seeds. I turned on satisfying music. I continued to eat well. I cooked. I added to the anything book. I was blessed to spend time chatting online with my "little" cousin and am grateful for the relationship we have been forging throughout this year.

I still find it ironic that sometimes we have to fall down in order to be picked up. However in this moment I feel at ease, at peace, and well...renewed. My worries are still there and are now in the form of prayer requests (news on my application to the social work program, the same proportionate or more amount of scholarship for next year, and a job--I specifically applied for one in particular but just about any job for the summer would do). There are a few other things on my heart and mind, but they will remain there for the time being. But more than anything I'm grateful for this period of renewal....a time to spring clean if you will. And I have faith my midterm will turn out alright anyway. :-)

Hope you all enjoyed a beautiful weekend!