Contradictory Terms

So I think I'm beginning to wonder, just how should I define simplicity? As I gear up toward moving back to the valley and to the city of Portland, I am again having to examine what I desire out of the upcoming experience. I am excited for what lies ahead but have mixed emotions on the return to the city, and I feel that some of my ideals are beginning to contradict each other. And so the questions begin in my mind......should I pay more for housing to live in the city so I don't have to deal with traffic? (In so doing I lose out on frugality and increase financial stress, but I gain in less transportation stress and less pollution production). Options are available in multiple forms, however sometimes I have to wonder if so many options helps or in fact hinders.

I've spent my week in the valley here primarily surrounded by others and thus was glad when today I had the opportunity to spend the day to myself. It has been great to visit with old friends, help out family members, and have help given to me in terms of the housing search, but it also renewed in me the knowledge that over the last six-ten months I've been choosing to live a very sheltered life. So now comes the task of trying to create a new shelter amongst the storm of the city, although I must admit that the culture and mentality of Portland correlates almost perfectly to my current values and philosophy.

I am currently sitting on the porch of one of my favorite restaurants where I can get "free" wi-fi (how is it free truly if I must pay for something?) and continuing my housing search, while also finally getting the chance this week to read up on blogs and other news. I keep getting distracted by the little things though. The squirrel with the cute bushy tail hunting out the area full of bushes. The beautiful blooms on the hanging baskets. The caw of the crow over head blocking out the noise of traffic. The laughter resonating from a near-by table as people bond over food, beer, and conversation. The calm settling on my soul as I recognize that no matter how much I try to worry or figure things out, someone (or thing...) larger than me is going to provide. Oh good times.....in the midst of uncertainity so much is certain and so much is natural about the state of contradiction.....it can after all be a good place to be.....