The Human Connection (Community)

I know independence is an element that has been of primary focus within our nation and society for a long time (how about since its beginning?!). However it has come to my attention just how individualized we have become and how infrequently we tend to truly ponder how our actions will effect others. We also seem to have an inability to ask for help. In my thoughts (maybe it's just all the movies I've watched) I envision a past era of our history in which neighbors knew each other and asked to borrow a cup of sugar instead of driving to the store to finish baking cookies. When did we stop relying upon each other and solely relied upon ourselves?

In my example of yesterday, my sister-in-law's coworker went out of his way to help my brother and his wife with their fridge problem. However it seems that he was more than willing to do so and to help was his own idea. In a recent conversation with a friend I described how difficult it is for me to ask my friends to help me with life's difficult moments, yet I tend to also resent that they do not automatically help me when I do finally get around to asking them. Yet, when I rarely ask then how are they to know that I truly need them in my life. I apply this same thought to my neighbors. In my neighborhood, we have had several families transition in and out of the neighborhood over the course of the ten years. However the majority of the current neighbors have been in our neighborhood for at least two years now, and I wouldn't be able to tell you much of anything about them. I also would not ever expect them to ask to borrow a shovel or for me to ask to borrow a book.

Is it any wonder then that we sometimes find it difficult to remember to imagine what it would be like to walk in another person's shoes? When we are no longer truly connected to our neighbors, families, coworkers, and friends, then how can we expect to be connected to the random person we pass on the street? Yet we ARE all connected. We are all humans, struggling in this walk of life, hopefully trying to improve the quality of life on this planet. When I talk to my students, I often see how hard it is for them to accept people that are "different" from them. In trying to bridge the gaps they have created, I often try to have them imagine being in that individual's circumstances. This is something that I do in my own life to increase my empathy and patience for others. For example, I might imagine myself in the shoes of an immigrant, a welfare mother, a drug addicted street youth, a politician. By putting myself in someone else's shoes, even if only mentally, I feel that I am much more able to understand why some individuals make the choices that they do. And I sometimes wonder if sometimes individuals are driven to make poor choices, do to the lack of a support system in their lives.

From a spiritual and emotional stand point, we need to connect with others to solidify our faith and to create relationships in our lives that support us. We need to engage in giving AND receiving. And from an environmental and economic standpoint, just imagine what it would be like if we were able to share or borrow/loan items that we do not use on a regular basis. A group of neighbors could share a grill, a vacuum, or lawn items. Maybe neighbors could even engage in yardwork or house projects together.

I think it is of utmost importance though for us to restore the human connection, to reinstitute empathy for all others, and to reach out in giving and receiving to others. My challenge for everyone (myself included!) this week is to truly engage in community. Get to know your neighbors, before judging someone different than you-imagine yourself in his/her possible situation, sit down and truly connect with important people in your life, be able to ask for help from others and trust that people will help you solve the problem however large or small it is, and talk to others who you might otherwise not. If all of us improved the human connection on this planet, think of how much easier it would be to solve the problems that plague us individually, locally, nationally, and globally. Best of luck!